Food Shuffle

I want to eat now because I’m hungry….but you know what would be better? To wait until later when I have the time to really enjoy it. Wait till I can indulge. Wait till I can relax.

Yeah, I thought this thought last night, and now I’m thinking it again. It doesn’t seem so bad, but it reveals something about my relationship with food: I idolize it. I want every food expereience to be the best possible. I will starve myself in order to make that happen.

I don’t eat when I’m hungry in order to stop being hungry. I eat when I can maximize its awesomeness. I’ve been trying to make myself eat when it is time to eat, and not when I have the time to really relax and indulge.

So, I’m going to make some lunch and eat. Because I’m hungry. It doesn’t matter if I can indulge. It’s just food. It’s just a tool. It gies me nutrition, but not fulfillment.

Well well well

Been a slight bit since I’ve checked in here.

Things are trucking right along. I lost some moktivation there for a while, for running. My food intake is loads better, but it’s not perfect.

Today was good. I did have an incident with a cup of hot chocolate that I drank because I was bored at work.

But I also went for a run. A short run. Short in several ways: I didn’t go as far (creepy kidnapper van looming in the dark) and I ran faster. My average speed was up quite a bit, and overall I only  cut about .2 miles from my route.

Right now my arms are shaking, and my fingers are having a hard time typing because I’m hungry. Only nine hundred calories in for the day and I just went for a speed record run.

Ugh, running in the cold makes me breathe squeaky.