I want to eat now because I’m hungry….but you know what would be better? To wait until later when I have the time to really enjoy it. Wait till I can indulge. Wait till I can relax.
Yeah, I thought this thought last night, and now I’m thinking it again. It doesn’t seem so bad, but it reveals something about my relationship with food: I idolize it. I want every food expereience to be the best possible. I will starve myself in order to make that happen.
I don’t eat when I’m hungry in order to stop being hungry. I eat when I can maximize its awesomeness. I’ve been trying to make myself eat when it is time to eat, and not when I have the time to really relax and indulge.
So, I’m going to make some lunch and eat. Because I’m hungry. It doesn’t matter if I can indulge. It’s just food. It’s just a tool. It gies me nutrition, but not fulfillment.